It's been a while since I have shared anything but all is good the kids are enjoying their summer my baby birthday is July 29th and she makes sure that we don't forget it.

Life is about choices when you are a single parent or just a parent your choices are what or how will it affect my children Strephon Kaplan-Williams said What we choose is what we become and We certainly don't need a new existence if we have used this one well I have only one life to live but many deaths to die so let ...live life love life help other love ourselve ad we will be loved

This is a old picture of the 7 joys of my life Akie is only 17 in this pic and he is now 6'2. George is now 5'10 Gio 6'5 and Nate 6' Sam is now 5'5 Angel is about 5 and CandiAms is taller I'm not sure how much taller. Being a single parent is not all about drama and school, home work, your work. This pic still living in a apartment and on our way to church, for me keeping the kids as close to God as a possibly can is important it teaches good morals the importance of patience, humility, loving kindness, sharing, forgiveness and sacrifice. There are people out there that thinks that is cornie or baloney but it works for me and I would recommend it to others.

Now there are other thinks that are out there that can make an impact on people’s lives that can give them all that I just mentioned but I find introducing your family to spirituality impacts your life on a very special level that is hard to put into words.
There is in home drama, school, home work our job or jobs girlfriends boyfriend but then there is entertainment, with having a family of this size or any size one thing is for sure we need to keep our children entertained and at a cost we can afford, here are a few ideas.
Once per month I go to the dollar store and buy a few packs of balloons, candies, and toys then I get a couple of cake mix and icing. I fill the balloons with water and the kids play water balloon fight, I hide the candies and we play scavenger hunt. I bake the cakes and they do a cake eating contest. I some times do a egg and spoon run or a sack race. When the day is over they are busted and so am I so we all get a good night sleep some times we end it with us all in the same room watching tv till we are out.

Gio has a summer basket ball camp all summer every day but sunday he seems worn out but happy about his summer camp

Well Sunday my Ackie and I had a big show down he is convinced that he would not be doing his high school subjects the way he is now if I was a better mother. He thinks that even thou he was a compulsive liar I needed to believe everything he said no matter what and handle some of his teachers differently, if I did that he would have been able to be a better student.




Well I'm very sorry that he feels that way and to be honest I'm ok with it I'm the parent and we are the ones that will get the blame when things go wrong in our children's lives even if it was their fault, but I will tell any parent if your child have an issue any kind of issue or person problems or bad behavior or habit don't pretend that it's not there. My son was a compulsive liar I knew it was an issue and he suffered the consequences because I would not let him think it was ok to lie I will admit there were some things I could have handle different, but I don't regret not pretending that his issue did not exit as his big issue with ling could have lead me down a troubled path if he was not aware that I was not willing to act on his ever word if that makes me a bad mother knowing that I have 6 other children to think about then so be it. But I am sure of one thing he has learned that ling can set your life back, and that honesty is the best of policy even if he don't want to admit that to me now. It was a big price to pay but he is young and his life is not at end.



I think lots of time our children end up on wrong paths because we as parent would like to pretend that all is ok with our children when it’s not and we fear giving tough love I don’t I don’t just want to say I want the best I actually want the best for my children and I will prove it to them no matter what even if it means tough love I love Ackie very much more than he knows even if he don’t believe it. I’m also ok with that as I will always show him that I love him and one day he will get I when he has his own children.
Sam had a sore throat for a few days and spent some time sleeping but she seem so distant these days she is not telling why no matter how much I ask she keeps telling me she is ok. I wish I knew how to reach out to her. My Sam have always been like this she is a loner who likes to keep her problems and thoughts to herself I'm always try to get her to open up but it's not easy. I need to do a night out with just her and I as soon as i get home.

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So it's been a while since I have made a post. I have lots to say, first I needed to mention something that I should have from the get go I am not just a single mom, I'm a traveling single mom so I'm away from home a lot. It's one thing to do it alone it's another to do it alone and travel. I spend loads of time with them on the phone home work is done some time on the phone, if we don’t do it on the phone we talk about it and I try to make sure that the communication line is wide open with any and everything. I express to them that honesty and communication is a key ingredient to a successful relationship, with honesty comes trust and trust is extremely vital in a relationship. As for me I really need to be able to trust them as I need them to trust me these key ingredients seem more vital to me now than when I was home all the time.
My little Angel that is my second girl won the spelling B and was very excited as was I she is really smart I made it my duty to express to her how proud of her I’m. I am really proud of her actually I’m proud of all of my children we have had our ups and downs but to be honest I must give thanks that they are just great kids that don’t give any trouble.
Ackie went through his phase hahaha I remember he at one time was in a phase of not coming home until wee hours at night then it turned out that the care giver I had at that time and him just could not get along she was a little monstrous, he had him a bit of a weird happens at school phase as well he was always into something with some teacher or the other, he very opinionated. I told them to express themselves he really expressed himself all the time and I would say that this would get him into confrontation with people I also told them not to fear confrontation and he has very little fear of it. I must say over the yea he has grown up enough to realize that there are time to walk away and he has been doing that and I’m proud. I would tell any parent that no matter what phase your child is going through and no matter how much it makes you feel like pulling out your hair don’t give on that child your love and devotion to that child or your children will pay off.
Well up until a week ago I had a full time care giver who was my niece but she wanted to do other things I did not agree so we went our separate ways. I know! so the big question is now that she is gone what are you going to do. To my surprise my eldest son said he was more than happy to deal with his sibling well my two eldest sons Ackie and George, can you imagine they volunteered to take care of their siblings in my absence. It made me feel like crying. We are a very close family but even with that you know I was a little surprise.
I was taking to my baby to see how she was doing she said oh ma I’m great jus having fun Ackie is great, I said are you sure yeah she says. They are out on summer break and the summer is really hot so Ackie girlfriend Q got them a pool and as you would know they live in it all day. So an asked Angel how she felt with my niece being gone she said it was weird but good. I said how good well the house is always clean. I forgot to mention that my niece had three children of her own. Angel continue to say and it’s quiet, she said it’s so quiet you can’t tell that anyone is home, there are not dishes in the kitchen sink she thinks it a nice change I’m socked but happy to know that they feel better. My eldest girl Sam said she missed them but change is good. I think she is right even though most of us don’t like change, change a lot of times work out to be for the best. Sam graduated and is now heading to middle school so we had a good conversation about sex, boys, drugs and birth control. I have had the talk with her on more than one occasion but I thought it was time for us to have it again as she recently saw her monthly for the first time. I also thought it was time to refresh her memory of our conversation as she was now going to attend middle school and be around older boys, older children on a hold.
As I mentioned before and if I did not I’m from the Caribbean in the Caribbean we don’t really talk to our children regarding sex, opposite sex, birth control, a lot of he Caribbean Islands culture is that you need to get a education to make it in life so stay away from the opposite sex because that is not what I’m sending you to school for and if you get pregnant or get someone pregnant I will kill you with lick plus you need to get out of my house. Now don’t get me wrong it’s not like that is in every house hold but that is the common trait. In recent years we have become wiser as we are noticing that the children are having sex and are having the babies no matter how much we try to instill some kind of fear in them for them not to go that route. Children become more curious when you try to steer them from something they know nothing about they want to know why so they try or it just becomes more exciting to rebel and try something that mom said no to I know I got pregnant with my first child at 15. As for me fear was not what happen to me but know one spoke to me about birth control, condoms nor the true or the deep truth about unprotected sex. I knew birth control because I saw my sister with it. When I realized I was going to have se with Ackies father I started taking my sisters bills with her. I did not understand that there was a pattern in which to take the bills for it to work so I was convinced that I was protected. Little did I know? They are people from my culture hat would think that I’m wrong for talking to her now but am I.
Lets take a look a few year ago there was a pregnancy pact between 13 to 16 year old girls one of the girls mother was advocating against giving the children condoms she thought giving it to them was telling them that it’s ok to have sex now, what she was not noticing was that they were having sex any way with or without he condoms. It did not hit her until her daughter came home pregnant. I personally believe that if all of those parents were facing reality and remember when they were teenagers, they were going to try to figure it out no matter what; they made the time to have sex even if they were the pastor’s daughter or son. They were in it together the girlfriend that the parents trust will always be the escape because they are having a sleep over that is not really happening. The way I look at it let me have an open relationship with her or anyone of my children so that when they are ready to have sex they can talk to me and I can tell them how to protect themselves.
Sex is so in their faces these days we need to talk to them about it ourselves I believe, and not have other people talk to them about it, the wrong person might be the one to talk to them. I would also tell mothers to build their girls self esteem from now I tell my girls to look in the mirror every morning and tell themselves how beautiful they are. The girls with very little self esteem are the ones that are easy pres for predators.

When I started the conversation with Sam she was "ha ma we have had this conversation already" "I know" I said "but it's time for us to have it again you will be attending middle school soon and you will be around older boys". I will also have this conversation with her again a week or a day before her new school day. Parent don't be afraid to have these conversation with your children my baby Candiams told me that she knows what sex it she is 8. A few weeks ago we catch my 9 and 8 year old girls searching the internet and reading about STD's. They heard the term and knew it had something to do with sex and wanted to educate themselves. “What are you two doing” I said. “Researching STD’s “ Candiams said “What is STD?” I asked “Ma sexual transmitted diseases” says Angel. As if I was being naïve. Parents please have no fear.

So yesterday my eldest girl Sam says hey mom I need you to help me with something. I am thinking of course I will help my baby it's a good thing I did not say that out loud. I said what is it baby, she says to get a new cell. all of the hair on my head kind of stood up like I was electrocuted like in the cartoons, cause was thinking well you using one right now any way I gave her the benefit of the doughty and I said what is wrong with the one you got. Low and behold she said nothing. I was thinking OHK, so you want a new cell phone but there is nothing wrong with the one you got MMMMMMMMMMMMM what is wrong with this picture. As you might imagine I continued with my evening and did not respond for a while so I shared the conversation with some friends and they said she properly want a Black Berry. I then thought I needed to entertain her a little longer and I asked her what kind of phone you want then. My little girl is yet to answer the question so let see what happens for the week.

My daughter Angel very adult like personality so as always decided she needed to have an extended conversation with me today as always and after she said mom how are you and I said I am good the she said what are doing right now and I said nothing really then she sighs and our extened coversation ended.

Today is Ackie's birthday he is 21 today but not doing good he is studing and not working and it makes him feel like he is not heading any where I'm not sure what to say to him right now to make him feel better. i understand how he feels. Well Im going to spend some time today thinking about what I can say that will make sence to him to put him back on a positive track. I'm thinking I am 37 and I have a 21 year old wow

Well today is May 11th and I have not said anything in about 5 days that will tell you all how busy I've been. Well Friday was good Ms Q my eldest son Ackie's girlfriend that I told you had got burn in her face with hot oil well she's been at the house and my son is trying to baby her as much as possible well the family have been trying to baby and comfort her, unfortunately she thinks she is now ugly well I guess that is a normal reaction for anyone who have gained any form of facial scares. There is nothing in my opinion that will let her look ugly as she is such a beautiful girl inside and out if she could only see that.
That reminded me that when Ackie was about 6 or 7 he stood up in an ant nest and he was bitten all over his legs and did not want to wear shorts for a very long time no matter how much I told hum that his legs did not look ugly so it is our nature that once something goes wrong with any part of our body we will not want to show it.



Saturday was also good nothing much happened that was out of the ordinary it was a quiet day. There has been a bug going around with vomiting and diarrhea Nate was up till late vomiting with Nate being ill I was not worried sounds funny but true. Nate is my all time healthy baby, he doesn’t really get sick and when he dose it’s very short lived. Nate will have the flu for one day who catches the flu and have it for a day, and that is after everyone in the house has had it for a week or two each.
Sunday started good then Ackie and my niece had a big argument over a loud vacuum and that fact that she wanted to vac so early when his little brother was sleeping and was sick all night. So Sunday was not such a quite day o start with but it ended well I got a real nice dinner and happy mother’s day from all the kids and it was great Ms Q family had a cook out and Ackie cooked hush puppies mmmmmm. Well he likes to cook and don’t do a bad job if I must say so.

Well for the past 2 days I have had a bit to deal with, with Nate he got in trouble at school with 2 teachers the teachers got together to think about how to deal with the situation so that he would not have it as a referral that was good now I travel a lot so I spend a lot of time communicating with the teacher via email even when I'm not traveling I do that as I want to know what is happening with the kids so if the teachers have issues we can try to address them together and not wait until teacher's parents conference.

Well with communication door open one of the teachers emailed me to tell me what happened and that Nate might be or is accepted into this academy. I saw the word academy and panicked as we know a lot of kids get referred to academies because of behavior issues academic issues. I'm he must have been miss-id as he is in advance classes and none of his teacher are telling me anything about real poor behavior. Any way I started by trying to research the academy that did not help well on sentence did not help it talk about at risk children and I'm like at risk WHAT RISK NATE IS NOT AT RISK.

I went on a email frenzy I email teacher, principle, consoler and who ever I could think of to make sure he was not miss-id I also wanted more information on this academy and who recommend him for it and why. I needed more. The good thing was all that got the email wanted to help as they saw my panic in the emails so I go 3 very important phone calls. I got a call from the consoler who recommends him that said he was highly recommended because his grades and behavior was good. The academy is to help him work to advance to 2 grades in one year the program were for children that was a grade or two behind but show that they should not be there and that Nate was a very smart child who was too far behind. I also got a call from the principle and the teacher that is in charge of the program, and I got lots of info from him and was put at ease

The whole thing did not help as Ackie my eldest we tried something that was to help him with school because of his age and grade and that was a disaster I think it was my fault for not being on top of it enough and trusting the system too much.

As a parent especially a single parent we tend to take whatever help we can get some times without realizing it, trusting the school system is one of them I’m not saying we should not trust the school system as what sense would it make to send your children to school of there is not going to be some kind of trust. I’m saying don’t trust them so much that we don’t question their actions and make sure it is what your child needs or what you want for them. The school system is made up of people just like us and just like us they are not perfect. Mistakes happen wrong decisions are made as parents we need to help them with our children as apart for parenting or children on a daily basis they have their children, some don’t have any how you take children need all the help they can get with maturing into adults we can be proud of it’s not just the jobs of the teachers, bus driver, lunch room attendant, Liberian, principle, consoler we play the biggest role of it and I learned that the hard way

Well today was a very up side down day, my eldest Ackie's girlfriend got burned in her face with hot oil and my son was so upset he spent a lot of time crying and it took me sometime and touch love to calm him down. I had to remind him that he was about to become a husband as he along with his brother George and his girlfriend is about to get married in July, so he needed to be more of a man not just for himself but to be strong for her. I spoke to her and she was angry but calm. I understand that he would be upset as he was two hours driving distance from her.

I really needed to calm him down as he was driving to go see her and I wanted him to have just positive and comforting thoughts. I was able to calm him and get him thinking positive. I was very proud of him for not having fear of showing his emotions